At a remote location on the North Island of New Zealand, an eccentric visionary named Dr. Grordbort has assembled a small but potent arsenal of Aether Oscillators, which function on gaseous energy rather than powder and lead. Created by his Senior Conceptual Designer Greg Broadmore, the most imposing of these is the F.M.O.M. Wave Disrupter. Looking like a 1930s Flash Gordon ray gun, it is both futuristic yet Edwardian in appearance, although Broadmore states they have all been hand built within the past three years.
To fire the Wave Disrupter, the Pressure Dial is adjusted until an initial resonance of 523 Hz (using tuning fork provided) is produced.
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Considering its exposed gauges and weight, the Wave Disrupter is not user-friendly. In fact, it can be as disastrous to the person firing the gun as to the intended target. “When you read the instructions,” Broadmore laughs maniacally, “you’ve got to think, ‘there’s no way I can shoot this thing without killing myself.’”
Operation of the Wave Disrupter starts by ensuring the Compressed Inverse Ether Phial is at least 6⁄7 full before charging. Then the pressure dial is carefully adjusted until a resonance of 523 Hz (Hertz)—a perfect pitch of high C—is reached. A tuning fork is provided for this purpose. The Wave Disrupter must be discharged within six seconds and the wave must not be emitted longer than 42⁄3 seconds. Shooters are cautioned by the company to avoid looking directly at the wave, which complicates aiming, as the gun has no sights.
“These things vibrate at an uncomfortable level,” Broadmore warned. “They feel like they’re going to explode in your hands and you’ll be struggling to hold onto it once you charge it up. There is no recoil, but once you’ve dispersed (fired) it, the thing will be oscillating like crazy. It could very well leap out of your hands if you aren’t holding it tightly.”
The F.M.O.M. Industries Wave Disrupter produces no recoil, but can be hazardous to everything around it. The instruction manual warns, “In case of catastrophic failure, remove oneself and property from vicinity of device promptly.” The author knew the danger when he tested the gun.
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“The conical rays of the cones expand outward from the gun,” Broadmore explained, “so the further away something is, the more likely it’s going to get hit. Conversely, the energy reduces with distance. So you’re talking an effective range of 30 to 50 meters (approximately 98 to 164 feet), although you might be able to cause damage to something beyond and have absolutely no trouble hitting it (because of the expanding conical rays), but the most extensive disruption would be within 50 meters.”
I can’t recommend the Wave Disrupter for home-defense, because it would not only take out the bad guy, but everything around him, including, given enough distance, the entire neighborhood. It would also be impractical for plinking or hunting. I discovered during testing that you can’t find your target afterward.
Available in a limited edition of 500, the Wave Disrupter is only legal to own for those with a BATFE Class MCMLXIV FFL. To obtain this license, you must be willing to submit to DNA testing, several polygraph tests and a rigorous battery of “probing examinations.” After receiving your paperwork, usually about six to eight years after initial filing, you must surrender your first-born son to obtain an import license. These small inconveniences are well worth the pride you will feel as the only guy on the block capable of vaporizing it. For those still interested in purchasing one, April Fool’s!
— Rick Hacker
NOTE: Special thanks to Academy Award winners Richard Edlund of Richard Edlund Studios, CA, and Peter Jackson’s WETA Workshop in New Zealand for creating the lead photos. Non-functioning Wave Disruptors really are available from WETA for $660 and make a lovely conversation piece.
Check out these Rayguns here www.DrGrordborts.com or www.wetaNZ.com